today my grandpa died.
a week ago. my grandma died.
his wife.
i wasn't close
to them.
there were a lot
of family issues.
maybe that's why
i am hurting.
so much.
although.
nowadays,
lately.
everything hurts.
it's hard to wake up.
it's hard to find motivation.
to do anything.
study.
create.
etc.
etc.
the pressure
buildup
in my head.
might just
explode.
and i might
want it to.
is death scary?
no.
it may be sad for a while,
frightening for some.
but
it should be a happy
celebration.
so.
am i hurting
from these two
deaths?
or.
am i hurting
because
i am simply jealous?
