marionette.

How can one single person make one feel so incredibly happy one moment, and then devastatingly sad the next?

I hate how the people you love the most (or even the guys you like etc.) can hurt you the worst. I was having a conversation with a friend, and they said that (well without the parenthesis). Funny thing is that I’ve thought that exact thought so so so many times. Although this person was talking about love. And in my life, it has more just been about silly boys.

But anyways, I hate it. How can a boy, a boy that may not mean anything in the span of my life, have that much control over my emotions? Although I will say, I overanalyze like crazy. I pick apart every little thing. Every text, every lack of text, what people say, how they say it etc. And every little detail is illuminated. Something that normal people see as miniscule, or don’t even see at all can be ten feet high for me.

It’s not like I want this to happen. I want to be happy. I fake being happy sometimes, thinking maybe if I fake it for a while it will become real. And sometimes it works. Well I suppose most times it works. That is, until I’m alone again. Late at night. In my bedroom. In my car. When everyone has gone home, or when everyone’s sleeping, it’s then when how I really feel comes to the surface. I hate this feeling. I hate it and I cannot for the life of me escape it.

When is this ever going to end?