Sleepwalking

I don’t know what's wrong with myself. I feel depressed sometimes. I feel over joyed with happiness sometimes. And sometimes I feel both and just end up feeling nothing. Or something that resembles nothing. I mean it can’t be just nothing. But I feel incredibly odd right now. Confused I guess. Earlier I felt so happy. And then I felt a little down. And now…confused. I just feel odd. Oh so odd. Haha that’s funny. But seriously, right now I’m just sitting here, in a sort of cloudy confusion because I don’t know what this feeling is. It sorta feels like I’m sleepwalking. In a zombie like state. My eyes are “glazed” over with a questioning expression on my face. Like everything is brand new. But I don’t see sunshine. I just see a blur of things. Like one of those slow motion, blurry video sequences of someone whose about to faint. Or maybe its like I’m drowning. Just right now, in this moment, I feel like it’s not me who’s living. Like I am watching myself.

Now that I have written that down…it reminds me of something. I’ve felt this way before. When I was unknowingly overdosing on antidepressants and having trippy side effects. Like hallucinations. But I don’t see how that could be happening now…since I am only taking 5 MGs of my medication…which is an incredibly small dosage.

I guess I’m just confused. Especially as to why I am feeling this way. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with myself because earlier I was feeling fucking fantastic. But it seems like it came to a sudden stop, and I feel very alone. It’s not quite a depressed feeling. And I don’t know if it’s worse or better?