a new leaf??

Sooo it’s been a while since I’ve last written…and I must say that my mood has definitely improved. Which it always does. I mean I have my good periods of time and then my horrid ones. And I have to admit that it helps having a certain “distraction” to get my mind out of the bad. Yes it is a guy, and we’ve been talking for a while now. And I think its good. But I cant help but wonder if I’m one of those girls who needs a guy to feel good. That kind of disgusts me. I don’t want to have my emotions being controlled by someone else. But for now, I’m just happy to be happier.

Anyways, its also interesting the secrets that come out about your significant other after breaking up. my friends now tell me the things that annoyed them, and that they thought he was a creep. I don’t quite know how to feel about that. I mean I don’t think he’s a creep. Just shy and awkward and misunderstood. But still, my feelings toward him went from being completely infatuated to really really sad to being incredibly pissed off. And now, im not sure how I feel about him. But I surely don’t miss him nearly as much as I did at first. And I cant imagine ever going back to things being normal with him. Friends? Maybe but I don’t know probably not. Civil is more like it. The whole situation, on both parts-his and mine, seem very incredible childish.

Anyways, now I have something to take my mind off of him. And I really think I like this new guy. He doesn’t go to Eau Claire so it’s a refreshing new thing….something to keep my mind off of my troubles but to also keep me out of getting into trouble with other guys. For now we are just talking and I like it because I feel like that is what was really what was lacking in my other relationship. (not to mention that he is adorable and is definitely what my friends from back home would consider to be “my type”). You know…flannel wearing, guitar playing, plaid loving sort of guy who I just want to hold hands with! Is this weird to be telling in a blog?? Yeah a bit perhaps. I guess the main thing is, is that I am finally starting to be happy again. FINALLY. Its about damn time. Its been 8 days since I last cut myself. Its not much, but that month of cutting was sure exhausting so it does seem like a lot right now!

For now, I guess I’ll just see where things go with this whole thing. I really hope it turns out well! I mean I have to get over Ian eventually, and even though it seems really soon it doesn’t seem like a rebound…it just seems exciting!!

Peace, love, and bacon!!