In two years I have cut approximately 365 times. And since the 9th grade, approximately 450 times.
The second one is less accurate because some of the beginning cuts are a little fuzzy....but it's still fairly accurate.
It's just something I do....I count every cut that I make. Each time I do it.
In 2009 I started writing it down with the date and how many times I've cut. And I've been keeping track like that ever since. Before then I had a piece of paper that I would record my cuts on, but no dates were included....and in the very very beginning I used to only record the instance that I cut. Like if in one night, I cut twice...I would list it as ONE. So that's why the numbers are off a little bit.
But in two years I have cut approximately 365 times. That's one cut a day for a year. (Or every other day for 2 years...) When I look at it that way, it doesnt seem that bad. especially considering that for one day, I have cut 102 times. And today I cut myself 33 times.
Cutting is looked as bad, by society. So I guess it's bad that it doesnt phase me anymore. I dont see it as doing something bad anymore. And what's worse is that I ENJOY doing it. I like it. And if I'm 100% honest I dont think that I will be able to quit. I might for a period of time...but I dont think I will actually quit.
I sound like an addict, right?
"What's so wrong with it, if it makes me feel good??"
That's what you hear from a drug addict or maybe an alcoholic.
I dont know what this means.
I know I have a problem.
I just dont want to fix it.
